the lawyer writer

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Monday, August 08, 2005

Panic

I always speak pretty highly of the freelancing life--the late nights and late mornings, the independence, the avoidance of working with idiots, etc. But there is a serious downside to it, and I think I'm experiencing it now. August is a pretty slow time in New York in general--everybody goes out to the Hamptons or some similarly over-hyped beach area. What I usually plan to do is have enough money to get me through August into September, but alas, this year, that simply is not the case.

My level of poverty is so low that I've simply stopped leaving the house, except for dogwalks and general constitutionals (so I won't become one of those Addams-family type recluses). Anything else involves the spending of money, of which I have none. It's an interesting idea, to slow down and stop moving as much as possible so as to maximize resources and efficiently spend the pennies I find in my couch. But it's actually a terrible way to live. It's moments like these that I imagine people in their windowless offices, slaves to the wage clock, yet comforted by the knowledge that however bad their day is, they're going to get paid nonetheless, and the workday won't bleed into a worknight.

Hopefully things will change soon. I've got some small projects to nibble on, but the big ones that I am waiting on--the real estate blog, some PR work, a new book proposal--are not coming in yet and certainly won't be paying my bills for a couple weeks yet. It's a terrible feeling to come to a complete standstill, hoping that if you don't move, you won't be hemorraging money as usual. Yet another reason that us self-employed freelance types are in the minority--lots of wear and tear on the nerves, and we sometimes don't know why we do it either.

4 Comments:

Blogger legis said...

Hang in there. May you also take comfort from the fact that you are an inspiration to many of us who are chained to a miserable career for whatever reason. Just keep writing, and I think you will make it. And I can relate to being so po' you basically can't leave the house. I know that only all too well. :-( You're not alone in that.

4:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What he said although that must be small comfort as you try to force down another spoonful of Alpo. :P From your posts it looks to me that although you're going through a tough spot you are VERY well positioned at your age to do well in the coming years. Two books, lots of other writing published, the verve to actually sit down and write stuff instead of just dream about it...

You really are an inspiration so chin up young lawyerwriter.

5:09 PM  
Anonymous qksail@aol.com said...

Well one cost saving suggestion: exploit romantic interest of chemistry-lacking "nice guys" for free meals, drinks, cab fare, movies, airplane tickets, "must have" handbags, cocaine, and "please run to the deli and pick me up a few (hundred) items.... " Consider it revenge for the glass ceiling and pantyhose.

10:45 PM  
Anonymous Blog said...

Hey there blogger... just a quick hello from VooDoo Blogger :-)

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10:34 PM  

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