the lawyer writer

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Thursday, June 30, 2005

Cats, Neighbors and Public Relations

I have a nasty neighbor. This may not be news to you, who have had many a nasty neighbor, but this is actually the first time for me. Though I live in a generic apartment building in a non-descript part of town, I am quite fanatical about my floor. A., the woman at the end of the hall, is our alpha-neighbor. You can tell immediately she's lived here the longest, knows everyone, will speak her mind and is pretty much in charge of the floor. She's a lovely person and, luckily, she likes me. Actually, she liked my cats first, because they used run down the hall to visit her. Across from her are D., who's an Italian guy who works in glassware, and I., his girlfriend, a Kazhakstani (sp?) lawyer. They throw these parties overflowing with Italians. We don't always go, but the cats go to every one. Next to them are J. and C., two rather fashionable gentlmen who also only started liking me after they met the cats. Across from them is a Brazillian couple, very friendly. Their daughter, G. likes to chase the cats down the hall. D., on the other side of me, has two tiny dogs that love my cats. (My cats stand the doggy attention with stoic disgust). There's a corporate apartment across from me that gets regular visits from a family in Westchester. Their children knock on the door to play with my cats.

Get the picture? No, this is not a "how cute are Bootsie and Footsie" email and their pictures will not be posted. I am going somewhere with this: namely, my cats are more popular than I am. But now I have a new neighbor. She has a name, but lets just call her Wicked Woman Number Twelve. (WW12 for short)(this is a joke for those who have read earlier posts). On the second day WW12 moved in, she noticed the cats sitting outside my door during a party. She told the doorman about it. I found this irritating because my door was wide open and I was in the kitchen, and she could easily just asked me in a neighborly fashion. I told the doorman that I was very sorry, and to have her come talk to me so we could work something out. Second time, she went to the doorman again. Then a series of notes were exchange. Then some nasty notes. Then she went to management.

Because WW12 is allergic, she does not want to be near the cats. Naturally, I offer to keep them inside when she is around, and to minimize the frequency and the length of their hallways visits. But no, this is insufficient. She does not want them to leave my apartment at all. Never mind that our hallway is practically the length of a football field, and she's only got one corner of it. Never mind that my cats have been doing this since they were kittens three years ago. She will actually get the porter to vacuum the area around my door, because the allergens from my cats will still be there, even when the cats are not. And these little allergens will apparently send her to the hospital.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Lawyerwriter is being insensitive. Doesn't lawyerwriter have allergies? They suck.

Lawyerwriter does have allergies. See earlier posts. But Lawyerwriter is irritated nonetheless. And this is why.

I am allergic to bees stings. I swell up. This is lamentable, and should I accidentally move next door to a beekeeper, I would be nervous and ask the beekeeper to cooperate. However, I do not--and this is key--knowingly move into a beehive. If WW12 knows she is that allergic to pets, why does she move into a 52 story building overflowing with dogs and cats? There's a girl who takes her cats on walks, for god's sake.

And I know what you're thinking now. Am I one of those crazy cat ladies? No. This is different. I have lived in this apartment for ages, carefully cultivating a really cool set of neighbors who make working from home a little more manageable. I have actually achieved a New York miracle of never, not once, having a problem with a neighbor. (That's not true. Once, J. accused me of not holding the elevator when he was running towards it. But then he met the cats).

We're talking white-picket-fence, people. Neighbors have each other's keys, take care of each other's pets, lend each other chairs for dinner parties, give both pets and babies presents on holidays. We're extremely friendly but we have our own lives and it doesn't get complicated. Although, when A2. and E. across the hall had a baby, they invited me to his bris. At 6:30 in the morning. (Yes, I went. No, I didn't look).

And now we have been invaded by WW12. Or, mostly, I have. Now management has told me that door needs to stay closed even if I am at home, and that if the cats need to leave the apartment, they need to be on leashes. And the point is, it's not a cat thing at all. I mean, I love my boys, but I'm perfectly aware that they're little animals, for god's sake, and will survive just fine without excursions down the hall, fancy toys, or fireman-and-policeman Halloween costumes.

It's a territorial thing. It's like our floor is Lumberton and she's the severed ear in the field. I'm afraid I'm afraid that I'm going to be lying awake at night, forced to listen to her vacuuming outside my door. Who is this nutjob? She's so scared of dealing face to face that she runs every time she sees me coming out of the elevator. (Once, the lock wouldn't work and she started yanking at the door like I was a mugger coming at her). Earlier today, my roommate was heading out as she was heading in. The nutjob leaned against the door, smirked and tried to stare down my roommate. Now I have to keep my door closed more, wrestle my cats inside (and you try wrestling two cats--or for that matter, putting them on leashes), see less of my neighbors and worry about running into the witch whenever I have to go out.

No. She must leave. I want my picket fence back. But how? Blog audience, I invite your thoughts.

68 Comments:

Anonymous qksail said...

I always rely on the wisdom of Pulp Fiction in such matters:

Tempting to follow this advice:

"I'm a call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' niggers, who'll go to work with a pair of pliers and a blow torch."

More realistically, this may be more fitting:

"You may feel a slight sting. That's pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps. Fight through that shit"

11:15 AM  
Anonymous Oily Pete said...

This seems a very New York kind of problem. Anywhere else and most of these fine neighbors would be homeowners and thus responsible for their own place in the sun. Your neighbor would then have no one to tattle-tale to like a passive-aggressive middle-aged child.

Didn't your lawyerly training give you the rhetorical tools neccesary to, a: bring this woman around to your side, or b: argue her into submission? If not, then why did your parents pay good money for your education?

Perhaps she sees your presumption of "ownership" of the public space of the hall has a presumptious sense of entitlement, making you, not the cats, the real issue.

In which case your charms will fail you. The alternate approach is to make her your partner in misery, united against a common foe, like the landlord or the neighbors who mutilated their son.

Ya gotta jawbone her, on way or the other!

11:23 AM  
Anonymous Terry Jacks said...

OK so you're Jeffrey Beaumont except that you haven't returned home - you only have your surroundings adjusted. WW12 is either Dorothy or Frank Booth - The question is which one? Is WW12 trying to seduce/lure you?

What are your other neighbor's opinions of WW12? Apart from not knowing the truth about cats and dogs, is she a normal person or is she more like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz wandering down a dangerous yellow brick road?

Some might say Boo F#@$%^% Hoo!

2:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The "As Good As It Gets" Response...

I say "Boo f$%@*$ hoo."

I agree with your statement that she should have known better to move into a building full of cats and dogs. However, she did and has the right to not be bothered by your animals.

WW12's mousy behavior is inconsequential to the cat argument but because you bring it up the impression I get is that the cat argument is a fig leaf. You said it yourself: "it's a territorial thing."

Instead of wanting to get rid of a neighbor who doesn't fit in and cramps your style, why not try to understand why she runs every time she see you coming out of the elevator?

2:22 PM  
Blogger the lawyerwriter said...

obviously, pet owners do not make up a key part of my blog audience.

in response to pertinent issues:

1) an education, paid for by parents or not (not), does not enable you to automatically bring neighbors to "submission" Otherwise, lawyers would be the peacemakers of the world.

2) my other neighbors seem uniformly unhappy with her. One has already complained that she is a prima donna who leaves her boxes in a hallway. D., the dog owner who lives next door, can't stand her.

3) she has every right not to be bothered by my cats. But doesn't she have a neighborly obligation to meet me halfway, to compromise a little for a situation that has existed for years? Would we be saying this if I lived in the suburbs, and my cats were sitting on her fence?

4) I find it interesting that everyone has counseled "understanding" for my neighbor, but very little for me being the only who has to change my ways, while she does nothing but demand her way or the highway.

5) I have no idea why she runs. I have invited her to call or speak to me in a friendly way numerous times--which is in the post, by the way. She prefers to send nasty, often untrue notes to management and run. I don't see why I'm supposed to continue to extend the olive branch.

6). For the record, the manager takes my side, but just cautioned me to be careful. It's always nice to have some empathy.

3:58 PM  
Blogger the lawyerwriter said...

p.s. anonymous...

wasn't As Good As It Gets the movie where Jack Nicholson dumps a small dog down a garbage chute?

Nice. A great model of a kindly neighbor. Definitely what who I want to be around and be like.

4:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:)

The point I was trying to make is that from what you describe she has real problems dealing with social situations. Some people need to be on their terms, in their territory, or coming from a comfortable position to be reasonable, sane or even social. Try to be the bigger person.

That is, unless she's a raving lunatic; in other words, beyond help or understanding in which case I don't think you can do anything more than ignore her. She lives there too after all.

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Blogger the lawyerwriter said...

perhaps I'm being too defensive. I do appreciate all the input, after all. And I think my friends, who are used to a lawyerwriter who generally likes everyone (it's much easier to be friendly than unfriendly, after all), are a little surprised to see me so passionately dislike someone.

but I believe in karma and all that other good stuff. My plan is to ignore her, and if she forces a confrontation, to respond with icy amusement.

and buy the cats some toys to make up for their sudden confinement.

4:32 PM  
Anonymous Ollie said...

the cats add something to that floor, bringing neighbors together through cute mewling sounds and a mission to topple any precarious glassware. its a friendlier floor than any other i know in Manhattan, and I doubt it would be if the cats didn't roam around being petted - they form the conversation point normally missing between neighbors. Sure she is within her rights to complain. She could also complain about any party happening on the floor, any noise (real or imagined), make life difficult for any neighbor she mistrusts, complain about anything happening on the floor that she disapproves of - and can be as obnoxious as she likes within the terms of the lease (that's the joy of a legal society), making the building a less pleasant place for everyone and less pet-friendly as a result, all within her rights. Suggest you talk to more people on the floor, and if she keeps it up, get a petition signed from them for the management to make the corridor officially pet-friendly. Am sure the building has another similar flat on another floor WW12 could be moved to...

4:50 PM  
Anonymous qksail said...

Why As Good As it Gets is relevant:

If the manager likes you better (who wouldn't), then its tempting to advise just to ignore WW12 and let your cats continue to roam. Hell, maybe put a little cat urine on her doorstep one night so the kitties identify it as an alternate litter box.

The problem with that strategy is she might be the Jack Nicholson character...

6:32 PM  
Blogger Slinky said...

Okay, I suppose I'm coming to this a little late, but I have to say that whether or not this woman is entitled to an allergen-free life life or otherwise, she's being childish and patently unreasonable. If she was the one moving into a new building, then it should have been her responsibility to find out whether her neighbours would have cats. If they did have cats and she chose to move in anyway, then it is not her perogative to impose her requirements on everyone else. And I do think it's more than a little ludicrous for her complaints to have resulted ina requirement that your cats have to be elashed when they elave the apartment. Leashing a CAT? Will you have to herd them across Central Park too?

If she had an issue with the way your cats were allowed to traipse around the hallway, she should have come and spoke to you directly, rather than kick up a fuss with the management, who are subsequently but in a difficult position.

Maybe you should try talking to here, face to face. (although I have my doubts about the efficacy of that approach, it's easier to be nasty in a note than in person) It MIGHT smooth some things over. If that doesn't work, then I agree with Ollie, talk to your other neighbours and if she insists on acting like a crazy person, call on your skills as a lawyer to drum up support for a petition to kick that psycho out.

If that still doesn't work, pick her lock, sprinkle cat hair in all the food in her refridgerator, i her shampoo, on her sofa and her closet. Then just wait.

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