the lawyer writer

sometimes legal                     sometimes literary                     sometimes not

Friday, February 25, 2005

My Oscar Predictions

Well, it's time for the Oscars, which I never really even watch any more. When I was younger, I used to record them fanatically--post show, show, pre-show, clothing commentary. I was ALL ABOUT the red carpet. I think I started losing interest around the time that Joan Rivers and her infernal spawn got involved. And yet, when I daydream of winning an award, it's always the Oscar. Sure I'd rather have a Pulitzer, but I would be dressed SO WELL for the Oscars--Badgley Mischka, here I come. (I mean, why does everyone except for the actress nominees look so freaking boring?) Since all I know how to do is write, it should be for screenplays, but I hate writing screenplays. Besides, I know that I'll be the very first person in the history of the Oscars to stumble on stilletos and land splat on the stage.

Therefore, the closest I get to the Oscars is the Oscar pick, which, as my friends know, I always win. Or used to, until my Entertainment Weekly subscription ran out. So, consulting the internet to find out who's nominated, here are my picks--featuring pictures!


best picture: million dollar baby Posted by Hello

Best Picture
: Okay, they all sound like good pictures. But Sideways won't get it--too indie. Finding Neverland was too sentimental. The Aviator had Leonardo. And Ray--does anyone even know who directed Ray? No, it goes to Million Dollar Baby, because Clint Eastwood is one older actor dude who doesn't embarass us and does Serious Worthy Intelligent Pictures.

best director: marty Posted by Hello

Best Director
: They give it to famous directors, and it's best if the movie they directed has been nominated as well. Clint got one last year for Mystic River. Scorcese has never had one. Mike Leigh is one of those directors who critics and other directors Deeply Respect but no one sees his moves. Pick: Scorcese. Which he should have won for Goodfellas.


best actor: ray, er, jamie foxx Posted by Hello

Best Actor: Is it Clive Owen time yet? No? Who's here. A bunch of people and Jamie Foxx in Ray. Hmmm, let's ponder. The Academy likes all that singing and dancing stuff. It likes Ray Charles. Ray Charles died this year. What's his competition? Leo and Johnny are too damn good looking; if we give them an award too, their already swelled heads will grow monstrously. Clint's getting the director award already. That leaves Don Cheadle. We like Don Cheadle, but genocide pictures--especially where the U.S. could have done something and didn't--are such downers.


best supporting actor: clive owen, dammit! Posted by Hello

Best Supporting Actor: Clive Owen. Clive Owen. Clive Owen. I don't want to hear anything about how Morgan Freeman is Beloved and has been nominated Four Times and Won Nothing. I just plain don't care. Look at Clive. He's hot, dammit AND talented. And British. That's a trifecta. And I don't want to hear any arguments.


best actress: dame annette bening Posted by Hello

Best Actress: Having seen none of these movies, I think this award should go to Annette Bening. I've never seen her give a bad performance, even when the movie (The American President, for example) sucked. More importantly, she has somehow managed to hold notorious playboy Warren Beatty's affections for years. If she acted more frequently, she would have gotten this by now and be bitch-slapping Nicole Kidman all over the red carpet.


Best Supporting Actress: Cate as Kate Posted by Hello

Best Supporting Actress: Always a tough category. Natalie Portman is too young and has been rewarded enough by appearing in dirty scenes with Clive Owen. Imelda Staunton--Academy voters know the name but not the face. Virginia Madsen: too many B-movies to her name. Sophie Okonedo: see Don Cheadle, above. That leaves us with the fabulous Cate Blanchett, who was ROBBED by Gwyneth Paltrow for Best Actress for her work in Elizabeth. Down with skinny blond nepotism!

Okay, no more pics. But wasn't that exciting?

Best Original Screenplay: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Too odd to be ignored.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Sideways. The screenplay award is the consolation prize for movies that are too indie to win best picture. See, for example, Pulp Fiction (beaten out by Forrest Gump for best picture) or The Usual Suspects.

Best Animated: Incredibles. Just Love Pixar!

Best Arty Stuff: Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. Didn't even approach the coolness of the books, but looked gorgeous.

Best Documentary: Anything about Nazis, or Super Size Me. Same difference.

Best Song/Score: Anything that is NOT Phantom of the Opera.

Everything Else: Clive Owen.

35 Comments:

Blogger 8709 said...

Alot of interesting comments on this blog, I was searching for some doctor related info and some how cam across this site. I found it pretty cool, so I bookmarked. I'll really liked the second post on the front page, that got my attention.

My site is in a bit different area, but just as useful. I have a mens male enhancement reviews related site focusing on mens male enhancement reviews and mens health related topics.

10:04 PM  
Blogger Tom Naka said...

Help! I am lost. I was searching for health plan services
and somehow ended up here. How that happened I don't know, however I do like your Blog a lot. Would you mind if I add your Blog to my favorites page so others can visit?

3:37 AM  
Blogger selfpublishingtips said...

learn about self publishing press
at: self publishing press
Info

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a **Dog Coats** site/. It pretty much covers the sale of custom made dog coats.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)

4:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, you have a great blog here!

I have a coat dog free knitting pattern site. It pretty much covers ##Custom Dog Coats## related stuff.

Tired of those knit sweaters, the ones that stretch out and have legs that your dog hates? Us too! So we came up with a coat that fits comfortably and works well! You and your dog will love these coats! We know, because we have been dog breeders for 23 years and know what dogs like.

All "Designer DoggieWear!" coats are handmade by ourselves in the United States. This assures the finest of quality and workmanship.



Come and check it out if you get time.

12:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, you have a great blog here!

I have a winter coats for dog site. It pretty much covers ##Coats for Dogs## related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time.

6:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy crap, I came across a blog pretty similar to yours earlier today. I also have one that pretty much talks about free classified ad submission related stuff. You should check it out sometime.

12:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

San Diego is having a Hot Rod Halloween on Sunday, October 30. If you love hot car show then you will want to be there! All kinds of hot car show will be in attendance. For more information go to hot car show
See Ya There!!

2:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

New california poker supply

11:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was helpful. I think you might be interested in checking out salt water reef aquarium

4:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

came here cause i thought your site had free teen porn

u should check out free teen porn

7:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I really like this one. I have a website that talks mostly about illinois classified ads You should check it out sometime.

8:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Learn how to quickly create an RSS feeds with our RSS feeder, for high link popularity and ultimately better search engine rankings.

5:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you like dog fence you may very well like this site dog fence

1:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a huge fan so youmight like american kennel club.com

1:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Furry bearer of unconditional love, affection, companionship - and a rocket-powered babe magnet to boot.Rearing a dog is like rearing a kid. Some dog owners PREFER to rear dogs than kids. But rearing & caring a dog take up a lot of your time.
You can also check out the news section at :

"Latest News"

You can almost see your new dog right now . . . running in the sun, chasing Frisbees, doing adorable tricks, puking on the rug at 3 a.m., chewing up your entire porno collection, shedding on everything in sight . . . Still want a dog? Then step right up, you've come to the right place.

"pawtips.com"

Our website provides a portal with all your dog care needs in one place. We know what's its like owning a dog and nurturing him/her till maturity. Its a hard job. You can bookmark this website so that you can come back again and again for all your unanswered question.

You can also order our dog owners guide that goes in depth the process of evaluation yourself and environment for a suitable dog companion.

"www.pawtips.com"

4:53 AM  
Blogger The Blah Brain said...

LOL I found some good stuff here: click right here

9:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And on a lighter note than pure north carolina lawyer , check out the funniest trial transcript ever! If it's not serious enough of a topic, well, just pretend it's the Brit's version of north carolina lawyer !

12:01 PM  
Blogger Goodman441 said...

Thank you & thank you some more for sharing this with us. I too am on the bones of my butt, but when I finished reading your method on how this is done I made a business decision and ran with it.

We have all ready made our money back plus some in our first day.


Thank you.
Click Here

2:16 AM  
Blogger Linux Unix said...

Informative collection attorney new york post.

3:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Greatest Blog Post. Please visit this site on at and t long distance
at and t long distance

10:53 PM  
Blogger photokorea said...

Hello

I woul like to tell photo contest information on your cool blog site.


Dynamic korea

Apply 2005 Photo contestApply 2005 Photo contest

More information
click here

10:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey speaking of free things try bingo cash prizeblingo, its free to sign up and you can win free prizes! I just won a free movie ticket!

5:41 AM  
Blogger Tech Blogger said...

Hi,
While I was searching through Blogger I came past your site, it is not really the information I was after about Medical News but I did stay to read your blog and found it interesting and well done. Keep up the good work and hopefully I will visit again sometime and also find the information on Medical News that I was looking for in my travels.
Regards,Regards,

11:17 AM  
Blogger Investment Center said...

I just came across your blog and wanted to drop you a note telling you how impressed I was with the information you have posted here.
I also have a web site & blog about investing start
so I know what I'm talking about when I say your site is top-notch! Keep up the great work!

6:30 AM  
Anonymous Medical News said...

Hi,
I found reading your blog interesting and well done, I do like what you have done with your site but it is not really the information I was after about Womans Health News . Keep up the good work and hopefully I will visit again sometime and also find the information on Womans Health News that I was looking for in my travels.
Regards,

12:31 AM  
Blogger James Baker said...

Hi Friend! You have a great blog over here!
Please accept my compliments and wishes for your happiness and success!
If you have a moment, please take a look at my site:
world stock market news
It covers world stock market news related subjects.
Have a great day!

2:50 PM  
Blogger James Baker said...

I was searching blogs,and I found your site.Please,
accept my congratulations for your excellent work!
If you have a moment, please visit my site:
writer market 2006
It pretty much covers writer market 2006 related issues.
Have a good day!

9:01 PM  
Blogger Paul Adams said...

Hi Blogger!I like your blog! Keep up the
good work, you are providing a great resource on the Internet here!
If you have a moment, please take a look at my site:
wireless computers
It pretty much covers wireless computers related issues.
Best regards!

10:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

where i get more info?

6:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, I was doing a search for Sexy Female

Celebrities
and came across your site. Though not exactly what I was looking for your site still gave me an enjoyable read. Good job! Thanks.

1:07 AM  
Blogger answer-man said...

Hello just stopped by to view your blog and to let all interested know I am offering free plumbing repair information and safety tips for California residents and all others interested. If you are not interested then please excuse us and please disregard this comment.

For Plumbing Press Release and Free Plumbing Repair Information please feel free and stop by and read and take advantage of our blog info or viist **A-Affordableplumbing.Com** Thank you and have a great day.

7:14 AM  
Anonymous dog trainer collar said...

Many thanks for creating your blog. It's facinating how people are so different in their interests.

Thank You again,

dog trainer collar

7:24 PM  
Blogger Clothing Specialist said...

Interesting blog, be sure and check out my site / blog when you get a chance at www.shoes-apparel-discount-fashion.com Thanks and have a great day.

11:54 AM  
Blogger Joe Berenguer said...

I was just searching blogs,and I found your site, Friend! I like it!
Please accept my compliments and wishes for your happiness and success.
If you have a moment, please take a look at my site:
pet center
It pretty much covers pet center related issues.
All the best!

8:34 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home